» Cowabunga.
Posted on September 26th, 2011 in family

ninja turtle pizza party

Dear Shirla,

Since you’re having a bad day today, I’m going to arrange a pizza party with the Ninja Turtles, and you can invite anyone you want to (except for that heifer, April, of course). And all the pizzas will already have the cheese taken off for you, and I won’t even give you shit about it, even though I’ll never understand why you don’t like cheese on your pizza. And you’ll get to eat next to Michelangelo—not because he’s your favorite, but because he’s mine, and I’m willing to share. And before the night’s over, I’ll somehow initiate a dance sequence that involves Vanilla Ice.

Or… you can just give me the social security numbers of the bitches who ruined your day today, and I will ruin their lives for you. It’s your call.

XOXO, Mayan

1 Comment

  1. Shi was all like...

    love love love you!

    It definitely helps me get through my day today!

    Go ninja, go ninja, GO!

    September 27th, 2011 | #

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