» The bouncer.
The bouncer.
Posted on May 14th, 2010 in friends, quotes

My coworker ate shit, split her lip and nearly broke her arm while walking to work today. As someone whose legs are permanently scarred (and ruined!) from falling down the stairs last Halloween, I empathized and tried to ease her pain with an Iced Caramel Macchiato and a ride home from work. She loves Chelsea Lately and would definitely appreciate this quote:

At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.

Luckily, I have friends who escort my drunk ass out before the bouncer does. The same friends also take incriminating cell phone pictures of me passed out in hotel bathrooms and whip them out amongst strangers, but that’s neither here nor there.


  1. Skok-dizzle was all like...

    I wish I could be there to take incriminating pictures of your drunk ass to post on Facebook.

    Oh, and I’m SO sure your legs are scarred from “falling down the stairs”


    May 16th, 2010 | #

  2. mayan was all like...

    what’s with the quotations? lol. jay was there to witness me fall down the concrete stairs at HOB in all my drunken glory. and help me to the hotel room. and take pictures of me passed out in the bathroom. pictures that he busted out again yesterday while we were eating dinner. i had a golf ball sized lump on each of my shins, and vince told me to massage them out so they wouldn’t scar. i totally ignored him, of course. now it looks like i have an ugly brown bruise on each shin. and you know my legs are just as white as yours =P

    May 16th, 2010 | #

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