mayanrocks.com » tv
Casual.
Sunday, July 31, 2016

hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif
hulu - casual - magpie gif hulu - casual - magpie gif

I just binge watched two seasons of Casual, and I can’t believe this lady is only supposed to be five years older than me.

In her defense, I get carded all the time. Also, some dude coaching youth track at the park during lunch last week asked me if I was in high school! Sir, if you’re trying to get me to join your track team, I’m in my thirties. And more importantly, I don’t run.

Hybrid Theory.
Monday, June 20, 2016

bones - the movie in the making - linkin park papa roach hoobastank gif

I’m pretty sure the victim in this episode stole my CD binder circa 2001.

Clutter.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015

criminal minds - till death do us part - clutter or the constant presence of a messy room is often a sign of depression

We were watching TV at my mom’s house over the holiday, and right after they showed this part, my aunt paused it, turned to me with a concerned look on her face, and was all like, “You know you can talk to me, right???” I meannnn.

#1 How dare you?
#2 This explains so much.

#previewpopcorn.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015

the mindy project #previewpopcorn

Further evidence that Mindy and I were separated at birth.

Spoiler Alert.
Monday, November 9, 2015

how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif

Preach!

I caught up on seven episodes of How to Get Away with Murder with Pammie over the weekend. I’m dying to know what happens next, but I never watch this show by myself because I get too scared. I can’t wait till I’m home for Thanksgiving to find out who shot Annalise, so someone please come over when the new episode airs this Thursday!

Spoiler Alert: There will be frozen salmon from Costco (it’s the only thing I keep stocked in my fridge because holiday weight) and me with no pants on.

Bet.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015

the office kelly kapoor juice cleanse

…or me on a juice cleanse.

I’m doing it partly in preparation for all the BBQ and bad decisions I’ll be making in Austin next week, but mostly because I bet Anthony that I could lose twenty pounds by the time we went to ACL or I’d pay for his BBQ at Franklin. These last five pounds can’t be zumba’d off in a week, so I made a game-time decision to bring my juicer out of retirement yesterday.

I can’t wait to go on vacation! And also eat solid food again.

Scared.
Friday, September 25, 2015

the mindy project - scared gif the mindy project - scared gif
the mindy project - scared gif the mindy project - scared gif

Mindy is back and still living my life, obviously.

I used to take Vicodin before getting a Brazilian (until I discovered the touch of an angel named Linda @ Viva Brazil – now @ The Wax Studio!).

I haven’t gone to the dentist in a year or two (or five). I used to buy groupons in lieu of dental insurance at my old job, and I had a habit of letting them expire before I could ever use them. I’ve had dental insurance for the past three years at my current job, and I don’t know what to tell ya. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Penn.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015

orange is the new black - pennsatucky - i don't have rage. i'm just sad.

Same.

The Instagram Diet.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet
amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet amy schumer janeane garofalo the instagram diet

…or my belated attempt at getting that summer bods ready for Cabo.

10 more days!!!

Venn Diagram.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015

amindofmadness:

Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.

In the venn diagram of men I’ve been involved with, these two qualities never overlap! :p

modern family gays vs lesbians venn diagram schooled

Fact.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015

mistresses - emails don't paginate gif
mistresses - emails don't paginate gif

…or me when I get an email asking how I’m doing.

I either respond with 27 pages or I don’t respond at all. There is no in-between.

Also, my mom got me hooked on Mistresses, and Joss is my spirit animal, obviously.

High & Low.
Thursday, June 11, 2015

Highlight of my day: After lunch with my coworkers @ Pitfire, the cute cashier slipped me a free jumbo chocolate chip cookie on my way out.

dancing cookie gif

I met up with my coworkers outside afterwards, thrust my cookie in the air and was all like, “FREE COOKIE, BITCHES!” Our excitement was short-lived, though. When we got back to my car, I had two parking tickets—one for an expired meter (my friend paid the wrong one) and another for not having a front license plate (I mean, if my car was meant to have one, it would have come with holes drilled in it).

I owe the City of Manhattan Beach $96 for that free cookie!

adventure time princess cookie

Canceled.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015

You guys, The Mindy Project is over and so is my life.

Prepare for my gif collection to suffer.

Countdown to Cabo.
Monday, April 20, 2015
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif
the mindy project - carry on - plane gif

I apologize to anyone who’s had the misfortune of traveling with me!

Countdown to Cabo:

  • Flight and hotel booked ✓
  • Passport renewed ✓
  • Summer bods (pending)
Currently.
Saturday, February 14, 2015

ron swanson - there has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food - parks and rec gif

Netflix.
Thursday, February 12, 2015

netflix profile

Add a box of girl scout cookies and you’ve got my plans for this weekend.

Anthony had me create my own profile on his Netflix account so that my chick flick recommendations wouldn’t get mixed in with his chick flick recommendations, obvi.

If only Amazon Prime had this feature so I could stop getting his beard oil recommendations for a healthier, kissable beard.

1,000,000,000/1,000,000.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015

the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif
the mindy project - blood pressure gif the mindy project - blood pressure gif

Accurate.

Character Flaw.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
Death is Coming.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014

modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif modern family - oh god it's cancer - death is coming gif

I usually enjoy being on my back, but this is getting ridic.

I’ve been living off muscle relaxers, pain killers and salon pas for the past three weeks. The cause is still unknown, but I’m pretty sure I went too hard at the Paul McCartney show! Ha.

I’ve been stressed out at work lately, and the doctor thinks I might be carrying the stress in my back. If only he could write me a doctor’s note forbidding me to work overtime. It’s the least he can do, since he won’t prescribe me more vicodin!

The Point.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

new girl - dice - the whole point of going on dates is to fall in love and have a relationship
new girl - dice - the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it's like burning fossil fuels. or seeing a therapist.
Baby Got Back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
Needs.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

real housewives of new jersey - a woman only needs two things: dunkin donuts and oral sex

LA opened its first Dunkin Donuts today, so I’m halfway there, you guys!

Currently.
Thursday, August 28, 2014

adventure time jake because i'm sick

I obviously went too hard this past weekend. Somebody soup me.

Brown Lightning.
Thursday, July 17, 2014

If anyone can convince me to join Tinder, it’s Djengus Roundstone.

I hope the D’s not silent…

Praise.
Monday, July 7, 2014

baby pennsatucky jesus

Darien waiting for a birthday surprise or channeling his inner Pennsatucky? You decide.

Game of Thrones Warrior Name.
Saturday, July 5, 2014

game of thrones name generator

Accurate.

Summer.
Saturday, June 21, 2014

what is going on? is it some kind of solstice? - marnie, girls hbo

Apartment Hunters.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

broad city - apartment hunters - where's the bathroom? where isn't the bathroom?

The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)

Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!

Binge.
Sunday, June 8, 2014

orange is the new black - you can’t blame the wolf. lamb’s delicious. that’s smart eating. gif

I may or may not have binge-watched the entire new season of Orange is the New Black this past weekend.

Don’t You Dare.
Thursday, May 22, 2014

new girl - don't tell me i wore my raw denim for nothing. don't you dare tell me that! dance gif

…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.

Currently.
Thursday, May 15, 2014

american horror story - bitchcraft - it's too hot. my frickin' vagina's sweating - madison

Rack City.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014

victorious dirty boob joke victorious dirty boob joke

Same.

When your coworker doesn’t even recognize you…
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

new girl - nick miller gif - i mean i'm not doing squats or anything. i'm just trying to eat less donuts.

Monday.
Monday, May 5, 2014

kim richards - but i don't want to gif - real housewives of beverly hills

Death’s Embrace.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014

the mindy project - mindy mixer - kitchen oven fire

Danny, you know my plan in an emergency is just to count to ten and wait for death’s embrace.

Further evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life!

Sunday Morning.
Sunday, April 27, 2014

sunday morning macarons tea adventure time ipad

Macarons, tea and my beansss!

Say Adventure.
Friday, April 4, 2014

adventure time -  say adventure - gallery 1988

OH MY GLOB <3 (@ Gallery 1988)

Tuesday.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014

broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif
broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif broad city - the commute - tuesday - tgif

Accurate.

Unsolicited facts about me.
Saturday, March 15, 2014

modern family - a kiss on the neck opens all kinds of doors

The Definition of True Love.
Monday, February 24, 2014

oitnb - i threw my pie for you - crazy eyes

But would you throw your donut for me, be honest.

Braised Short Ribs.
Monday, February 17, 2014

croce's braised short ribs

new girl jess removed from the internet

Random.
Thursday, February 13, 2014

glee - gwyneth sexy everybody's got a random

One of my randoms who I haven’t seen or responded to in five years hit me up late last night. Who does that??? Please just forget about me, just like you seem to have forgotten that you have a girlfriend and babies at home.

I’m so sick of these fucks.

Crumb.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Why don't you place just one crumb of basic human compassion on this fat-free muffin of sociopathic detachment? See how it tastes. - Girls Quote

Sandbox.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

You know, he should be here for you right now. But when the great seesaw of life throws your cunt in a sandbox, he's a ghost, nowhere to be found. This is what he does.

Serious.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014

the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer the mindy project - danny castellano is my trainer
Girls.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013

girls season 3 premiere

Looks like I’ve locked down my birthday plans for 2014! Just kidding. The Golden Globes are also on that night.

Mob City.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013

milo ventimiglia - mob city

Oh my Milo. Mob City has arrived.

Permanent Press.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013

new girl - thanksgiving - turkey in dryer - permanent press
new girl - thanksgiving - turkey in dryer - permanent press

My Epicurious Thanksgiving Feast pinterest board won first place and an All-Clad Stainless Roasting Set just in time for the holidays!

Now if only I could figure out how to roast a turkey…

You Say Potato.
Sunday, October 13, 2013

the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted the league - it was a series of hook-ups that i misinterpreted
True Partner.
Saturday, October 12, 2013

Hart of Dixie - It's just so important to have a true partner in life. You know, it's just it's something that I realized yesterday having almost died, choking on a donut. Hart of Dixie - It's just so important to have a true partner in life. You know, it's just it's something that I realized yesterday having almost died, choking on a donut.

Donuts help you realize what’s important in life.

Constantly.
Friday, October 11, 2013

the mindy project - chemical attraction yoga pants constantly the mindy project - chemical attraction yoga pants constantly

Morgan Tookers is every guy I’ve ever been with.

Fast Forward.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013

the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
the mindy project - photo me - skank the mindy project - photo me - skank
Kiss of Death.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013

the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif
the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif
the walking dead - norman reedus - daryl dixon - kissing gif

I fear for Rick’s life.

GPOY.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013

mindy god i want a donut gif

My coworker brought in Randy’s Donuts this morning because she wants to ruin my life, obviously.

Fan Letter.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013

bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien
bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien
bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien bryan cranston reads fan letter - conan o'brien

Bryan Cranston got my fan letter attracts the crazies.

Diesenberg.
Sunday, September 29, 2013

breaking bad hiesenberg drawing

Even though I just started watching Breaking Bad last month, I still feel like I’ve lost a friend. A brilliant, sociopathic, meth-cooking friend.

Shots-Off.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013

the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco
the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco
the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco the mindy project - loaf of bread - shots off - james franco

Same.

The Voice.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013

adam levine the voice shy cardigan gif

Just Adam Levine being the light of my life as usual.

Holiday Weight.
Sunday, September 22, 2013

friends - joey ross - holiday weight friends - joey ross - holiday weight

My work is hosting its third weight loss challenge this year, and I’m joining for the third time! It ends the week before Thanksgiving… just in time to gain some holiday weight go shopping with my winnings 😉 I’ve also decided to go gluten-free during the contest! Yikes. Thank yeezus for gluten-free vodka! I’m gonna need it…

Temporary.
Monday, September 9, 2013

orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote
orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote orange is the new black - mandala temporary quote

You should be watching Orange is the New Black, if only for sound advice from Yoga Jones. (She was the voice of Patti Mayonnaise if that helps sway your decision at all.)

Meet me in Montauk.
Friday, September 6, 2013

orange is the new black - chemical thing - montauk
orange is the new black - chemical thing - montauk
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