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Posted on December 24th, 2012 in LA

the neighbors have better stuff doormat burglar

I gave my landlord a swanky electric wine opener for Christmas, so he invited me upstairs to try his favorite cab sauv before I left LA for the holidays. After a few glasses, he asked me if I had a visitor around 3am the night before. 3am??? #1 How dare you? And #2 that was a one-time thing, and I thought I was being discreet! Ha.

Anyway, he said he heard some noise at the door around three in the morning, but he (mistakenly) thought that I had somebody over, so he didn’t want to go downstairs and bother me. He went to bed and didn’t think anything of it until the next day when he noticed that the front door had been tampered with, and there were fresh scratch marks near the dead bolt. Apparently, someone tried to break into the house while I was dead asleep downstairs! Yikes.

If I knew someone was going to come here in the middle of the night looking for money, I would have woken up and looked with them. I OWN NOTHING! But seriously, according to my landlord, he’s ‘good with rifles’ (um, what?) and I’m pretty good with fabric scissors, so beware, burglars!

honey boo boo child watching you gif


  1. shi was all like...

    Good Lord! scary times!

    December 25th, 2012 | #

  2. mayan was all like...

    d got me some pepper spray and an ice cream maker stand mixer attachment for christmas, so i’m hoping all future intruders are not immune to pepper spray and/or are lactose intolerant.

    December 26th, 2012 | #

  3. Shi was all like...

    Damn. Maybe it’s time to move outta that hood!

    December 26th, 2012 | #

  4. mayan was all like...

    it’s not a seedy neighborhood at all, they probably just saw my landlord rollin’ up here in his fancy ass car every day… i mean, i know they didn’t see me in my car and think that i had something worth stealing!

    i was supposed to leave in december, but he gave me $100 to stay through january. i’m pretty sure i’m paying for it with my life, though! haha =/ oh well, we’ve had our time! lol!

    December 27th, 2012 | #

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