Last full moon before I go back to work next week (remotely).

Buck Moon, do your thing ✨

1. Nope, in fact I make it a point to eat with people who don’t have dietary restrictions (vegan, gluten-free, etc.)
2. I have toxic exes, but none of them have “the” or “official” in their IG handle. One of them live tweets, though (which is equally horrendous in my eyes). Does that count???
3. I used to go to the Hermosa Beach Farmers Market on Fridays for the chili dog guy and one time he was grilling hash browns next to the hot dogs and I was like, “Ooh, can I have a side of that?” and he was like, “This is my lunch.” 🤣 The stall next door has delicious pluots (plum apricots) in the summer, but I don’t have a pluot guy.
4. I use maps for everything to avoid traffic in LA. Also, I never remember street names. If a landmark changes visually, I’m screwed LOL.
5. My parents think I design shoes at Skechers, but I’m a web designer there.
6. I do want to adopt a dog, but I haven’t yet…
7. My favorite billboard lawyer is Sweet James (The Beard of Justice).
8. My regular chiropractor is in Manhattan Beach, but I did used to see a nutritionist in Santa Monica 😅 And I once sold something on letgo to a douchebag from Santa Monica who called it “SaMo.”
9. This guy moved into my building and put candy and a one-page intro to him and and his dog on everyone’s door. I was like, “Does he know he moved to LA??? We don’t talk to our neighbors here” 🤣 (unless it’s to bang on their door after midnight to tell them to turn their fucking TV down).

I moved to LA over a decade ago, and I still don’t consider myself an Angeleno!

…or me whenever my sister tells me I should go on a walk or do my Breather exercises that my speech therapist told me to do. Basically, I don’t like any kind of exercise LOL. She’s always like, “You should be grateful you can still move and talk!” especially after her coworker told her that her cousin who’s the same age as me had a stroke and died. Ok fine, I’ll go on a walk and do my breathing exercises… *grumbles*

My sister lives in the Millenia community of SD, and she pays over $600 a month in HOA fees! We go on a walk everyday, and there’s trash and cigarette butts everywhere (even though there are public trash cans all over the place!). She got so tired of seeing the trash that she amazon primed a grabber tool and takes it on our walks now. She filled an entire trash bag today! What’s the point of paying so much for an HOA if they don’t even maintain the common areas??? She brought one trash bag with her, and I was like, “You should have three bags—one for trash, one for recycling and one for composting.” And she was like, “I ain’t trying to save all the world’s problems.” 🤣

When we first started going on our walks in January, there was this Muchas Gracias plastic bag stuck in a nearby tree for weeks until one windy ass day.

I usually see this dog on my walk (who I call “Thierry Henry,” after the French pundit on Ted Lasso), but he’s always perched on the 2nd floor balcony. I looked for him up there, but today he was staring at me through the window in the front door 🤣

Yesterday, I ran into Chico on my walk, and learned his name is actually Tharu! The owner’s sister was walking him and didn’t know why her brother named him “Tharu” or what it meant. I looked it up, and according to wikipedia, Tharu is an ethnic group indigenous to southern Nepal and northern India (or a Volkswagen Taos in China). His family is Latino, so I doubt it means any of those things. I like “Chico” better, so I’m gonna keep calling him that behind his back. Whenever I ask my sister’s husband if he’s seen Chico (every day), he tells me to please get my own dog LOL.

Baby, worship my hips and waist
So feminine with grace
I touch your soul when you hear me say
“Boy, let me be your woman”

Doja Cat is touring this fall! Who’s coming with???

#TBT to that time I almost got into a fight at a Padres game (last weekend).

We had good seats in Section 110, but spent most of the time in the lawn area, partly because Shi was there with the kids, but mostly because it was near Hodad’s and the theme giveaway line.

Our tickets were $100+ each and parking was $55! Is this how much it costs to go to a game now??? I sound like my dad LOL. He was just saying he remembers when basketball playoff floor seats were only $500. When??? 40 years ago when the Clippers were a San Diego team? 🤣

They’re building the Clippers a new stadium in Inglewood, down the street from where I paid $60 for parking for Dua Lipa last year (then I paid an extra $10 for a locker because my purse was too big!). It’s less than 20 minutes away from my apartment, but I’m not gambling with rideshare prices.

Sometimes I have to remind myself, “You’re in your forties now. You need to calm the fuck down.” 😅 I think I got my fire from my mom’s side. When I was a little kid, my mom and her sisters got into a fight with these girls at Potomac Park because they wouldn’t let my grandma use the water fountain. I just remember them ripping the braids out of the girls’ heads and taking their watches LOL. They were in their twenties back then, but they’re just as fiesty in their sixties now. Don’t mess with the Cuevas girls!

Harry Potter Night (@ Petco Park)

I went to a Padres game with these potterheads and all I got was a Hufflepuff hat (and garlic fries from Gaglione Brothers. And a cheeseburger from Hodad’s. Ok, and a churro from Lane’s Lemonade Stand. No ballpark beers, though, because the last time I mixed alcohol with my meds, I was sloppy as fuck!).

The theme giveaway line was 45 minutes long, and we overheard this guy tell his girl, “I love you, but I’m not waiting in this line” LOL. Also, we picked up 3 hats first since the 4th person wasn’t at the game yet, so Pammie asks the giveaway dude for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and he starts reaching for a blue hat looking at her for confirmation, and Pammie was like, “Boy, that’s Ravenclaw!” 🤣

The “paw squad” is my new favorite part of being at Petco 🐾

Got this teapot and teacups from Marimekko, partly because I love the design, but mostly because I left my Blood of my Enemies (JK IT’S COFFEE) cup in LA.

My favorite bakery from NYC opens this weekend in LA (@ Levain)

Now I don’t have to pack my foodsaver to bring home fresh cookies the next time I go to New York 🤣 Their chocolate chip walnut cookie will change your life!

Since today is the first day of summer and I’m seeing Young the Giant in two months!

…or Jay’s message to me today after finding out about my strokes 🤣 I can totally hear him saying that! Except he says “skrong” like Kanye in Roses and “bitch” (also like Kanye in Roses).

I saw Kanye perform his debut album at 4th and B back in 2004. I miss the old Kanye.

My mom asked me to make her banana nut bread with her ripe bananas, and since my sister’s husband has been asking me to make banana bread for months, I made him a loaf, too.

I used to make mini loaves and bring them to work. Here’s some actual footage of the time I caught my old coworker, Justin, in his office going to town on this mini loaf that was supposed to be for him and his wife LOL:

Don’t let The Great Banana Bread Disaster of 2009 fool you. I make a mean ass banana bread.

Best Ever Banana Nut Bread with Streusel Topping Recipe (banana bread recipe adapted from The Baking ChocolaTess and streusel recipe from Yummy Addiction):

Banana Nut Bread Ingredients:

• ½ cup butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs beaten
• 1 ½ cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. salt
• 1 cup mashed bananas (about 3)
• ½ cup sour cream
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• ½ cup chopped walnuts

Streusel Ingredients:

• 3 tbsp. flour
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• ¼ tsp. cinnamon
• 2 tbsp. unsalted butter, slightly softened and cut into pieces
• ¼ cup chopped walnuts

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease a 9-inch loaf pan. Cut a piece of parchment paper and put it on the bottom of the pan (for easy removal).
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Add in the eggs and mix well.
5. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add into the butter mixture and combine together.
6. Add the sour cream, bananas, and vanilla and stir well to incorporate, but don’t overmix.
7. Stir in chopped walnuts.
8. Pour into prepared pan.
9. Add the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl and mix until combined. Cut in the butter using your fingers or a pastry blender, until it resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in chopped walnuts. Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the batter.
10. Bake for 50-60 minutes.
11. Cool for 10 minutes and then turn the loaf out onto a rack. Remove the parchment paper and wrap the loaf in saran wrap to keep it moist once it’s room temperature.

I didn’t know that liking your husband would hurt this much.

We watched a Korean movie (@ AMC La Jolla), and I got us some Korean snacks to eat while we cried. They even referenced one of my favorite movies, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’ve never seen it, these two people erase each other from their memories after a painful breakup, and they still end up finding each other again. You can’t fight fate…

Jessie was off today for Juneteenth, so she invited us into her Korean world LOL. IDK guys, the Padres are opening next season against the Dodgers in South Korea, and she might go there solo and not come back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

All my dad wanted for Father’s Day was a beer on a rooftop (@ Seneca)

The dole whip at the food and craft market below was a bonus. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

I’ve been to 3/20 places on Eater’s 20 Essential BBQ Restaurants in LA, Spring 2023 list (Bludso’s, Slab & Maple Block Meat Company). Anyone want to try the other 17 with me??? I also have a BBQ bucket list if you feel like traveling.

Craving a lobster roll ever since Yelp sent me their 2023 Top Lobster Roll Spots in Every State list. This place in North Park did not disappoint (@ Pete’s Seafood and Sandwich)

We paid our respects at Jocelyn’s mom’s viewing tonight. No one wore booty shorts (@ Glen Abbey)

Hopefully the señorita bread we brought made up for us not voting for her for homecoming queen 20-something years ago. It felt like high school all over again (I’m still hanging out with the same girls and I had a carne asada burrito for dinner LOL).

Redondo is ready for me to come back! Now the closest lobster roll will be five minutes away from my apartment, and I don’t have to wait for an election to have one from the food truck across the street.

Also, Yelp sent me this list of their 2023 Top Lobster Roll Spots in Every State. Anyone interested in eating their way across America with me???

I made this spaghetti squash pad thai after Shi made pancit with spaghetti squash and I was wondering what other rice noodle recipes I could sub them for.

I’m that basic ass b that always orders pad thai at Thai restaurants. I followed this recipe, but I omitted the ginger, carrots and cilantro (since I don’t like any of those things LOL) and topped it with crunchy garlic chili oil (I put that shit on everything). It turned out so great!

My parents are dog sitting the goodest boi ever for the next month and they are so excited. The dog, not so much LOL.

I rarely eat rice or pasta now, but I still allow myself the occasional cinnamon roll or cookie. I’m not a psychopath 😅

My sister’s mother-in-law once joked that she was gonna steal the honey dispenser from the restaurant, so I got her one for her 70th birthday (along with a Kate Spade purse that’s big enough to hide the honey dispenser if she still wants to steal it).

I’m a thoughtful ass gift giver 🤣

I would like to cancel my subscription.

My blue jeans
Will last me all my life
Oh, yes
So should we
I’m spending all this time

I went to my cousin’s son’s high school graduation party, and his daughter’s playlist was playing and I realized that I have the same musical tastes as a 16-year-old.

I would see Daniel Caeser in concert but his show is the same day as The Brook & The Bluff, and I’d rather eat at Pizza Port see The Brook & The Bluff.

Nori and I would frequent this taco shop when we had lunch every day for work, and even though we’d almost always go to Starbucks after, sometimes I would get this Mexican rice pudding that was just hanging out there in the fridge, begging me to buy it. Nori doesn’t like milky things LOL, so she would just watch me eat it, but today is her birthday, so I made some and thought of her. I miss my friend! She really helped me out after I got sick and checks in all the time ❤️‍🩹

I sent her a care package of all her favorite things: Mango Gummy Bears and Pineapple O’s from Lin’s Hawaiian Snacks, Dark Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts, King’s Hawaiian Bread with Passion Fruit Jelly, Freeze-Dried Sour Skittles, CheeseCorn from Garrett, a thumb drive with all her favorite movies, and some gift cards to Nordstrom and Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf because she is never without a spritz of perfume and a big ass Tropical Passion Iced Tea. She sent me this photo of her dog, Kona, trying to steal some of her candy 💕

You lit your cigarette
Oh, how quickly we all forget
That bed you made, you must lay in it
Lost in a fruitless cause
False hope was all you bought
Oh, and the answers didn’t seem so far

Just got tickets to their fall tour! I’m going to their SD show instead of the one the next day in LA, partly because trying to get to Hollywood on a Thursday sucks, but mostly because I want to eat at Pizza Port.

I’m up in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and I haven’t been home in over a month.

I should really give someone a key to my apartment, because all my plants are dead.

People think it’s silly that I kept my studio in LA (and continue to pay a ridiculous amount for it) since I haven’t lived there since January after the incident, but I like my independence (and walking around in my chonies.). I’d sublet my apartment, but my property manager lives across the hall, so he’d definitely know 😅

I need this gummy bear-scented deodorant in my life.

P.S. If you knew me when I was GUMMYI3EAR@aol.com, I’m sorry LOL.

I once got invited to a Sleepless party in LA that started at 11:30 (PM!).

I would’ve gone, but I was sleeping 😴 Besides, I’d already taken off my bra by that time, and once it comes off, I’m in for the night…

Hey, Siri. Play the ‘Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley’ playlist.

Don’t mind me. Just re-watching old Ted Lasso episodes and loved this scene.

P.S. I’ve known Sade’s By Your Side was gonna be my wedding song ever since it came out in 2000 and I thought I’d be married by the time I turned 25 (I’m 41 now LOL).

I use this Merriman gif any chance I get because he’s the only jersey I have (I bought it before he choked Tila Tequila and before the Chargers left San Diego, but regrettably not before he got that stupid “Lights Out” tattoo on his forearm).

The Ted Lasso series finale was so good! I’ve never been so invested in a fake sports show.

…or me telling everyone I know about Barbecue Showdown.

Full moon in Gemini season, y’all ✨

The Poles – Strawberry Moon

I was looking for strawberry moon vibes on Spotify when I stumbled across this Korean indie rock band. I’ve never watched K-dramas or been into Korean boy bands (although I love K-Pop girl bands. Blackpink, anyone?), but I love this song even though I don’t understand what they’re saying.

On my walk, this guy was blasting Yellowcard while working out in his garage.

I had so many questions. Did he mean to play it this loud? Is he listening to my resurrection sunday playlist? Is it 2001??? I usually listen to my twerkout playlist when I work out, would early 2000s pop-punk pump me up more?

P.S. I love that the top comment on this video is, “Music is the closest thing we have to a time machine.” Ain’t that the truth…

Captain’s Log, Day 136: It’s June now, and these heart balloons have been in this window since February.

I’m on instagram, partly because I follow a bunch of dogs, but mostly because of this guy 😏 His caption on this post is, “I baked you some dessert, so you can eat it while I eat you.” 😳

Mmm, Daddy 😈

Logan Sandoval is my favorite contestant on Barbecue Showdown.

He has a weekend pop-up in LA. Who’s coming with me???

Jessie and I go to our friends’ kids birthday parties for the free hood ass ice cream trucks (@ SD Sweet Treats)

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

Eating more eggs because my primary care physician said I need to raise my “good” cholesterol. This is 41, y’all 👵🏼

Egg Bite Recipe (adapted from Recipe Girl’s Copycat Starbucks Egg Bites):

• Simple Truth Natural Cage Free Eggs – 10
• Applegate Naturals Uncured Turkey Bacon – 5 Slices
• Private Selection Alpine Blend Shredded Swiss & Gruyère Cheese – 2 cups
• Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.

Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.

I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).

Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!

Each Egg Bite: Calories: 87. Carbs: 1. Fat: 5. Protein: 8. Sodium: 169. Sugar: 1.

Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!

The second season of Barbecue Showdown came out today on Netflix, so these are my plans for the weekend.

I’ve been to BBQ Showdown judge Kevin Bludso’s original location in Compton. He’s since moved to Fairfax, and he’s opening a location in Santa Monica this summer. Take me with you, and I’ll treat you to a Pink’s chili dog and some Brambleberry Crisp ice cream from Jeni’s after! None of which will hold up to my apartment in Redondo, so we’ll just have to eat it there! I hope you’re hungry 😏

Miso Chilean sea bass (a riff on the miso black cod from Nobu) with baby bok choy drizzled with crunchy garlic chili oil.

The miso marinade was a bitch to make (it was so thick!) and a bag of five Chilean sea bass fillets was almost $50 at Costco, but it was worth it (one miso black cod at Nobu is nearly $40!).

This whole ass meal was *chef’s kiss*. Bon appétit!

Can’t I be both???

Me: Waco? Oh, it’s the 30-year anniversary.
Pammie: What happened in Waco?
Me: What do you mean, ‘What happened in Waco?’ Waco’s only known for one thing!
Pammie: I only know Waco for the Magnolia Silos LOL.

Even if I didn’t love true crime, I’d still know what happened in Waco 🤣

P.S. If you weren’t alive for Waco in 1993, you are much too young for me LOL.

Are you laughing at your own joke???

– Pammie to me as I’m texting Alicia and dying of laughter

I’m not even mad they spelled Beetlejuice wrong. So excited for this sequel!!!

This cover of Labrinth’s Jealous sung by an all-male a cappella group led by a Korean dude is probably my favorite cover ever. It’s also available on Spotify if you feel like listening to it on repeat and crying yourself to sleep (not that I ever do that). Does anyone want to go to Nashville with me to watch them in the fall??? I used to be in show choir in high school (I have the sequin dresses and nude character shoes to prove it) and I’m a huge choir nerd. I hope that doesn’t turn you off LOL.

Also, I once went to a Billie Eilish show in 2018, and my ears are still ringing.

New favorite song, though.

FYI I get all my important news in a daily email from The Betches Sup.

P.S. Florida senators should not be commenting on California things 😒

BRB crying.

God, I love this show. Thank goodness it was renewed! I’m still salty about The Company You Keep cancellation LOL.

When you’re staying at your parents’ house because your sister and her husband are going to Vegas for his birthday.

Never mind that I ran out of underwear, bring my electric pepper grinder LOL.

This article explains so much 🤣

Sidenote: The only place I’ve ever drank water from the tap is when I stayed at the Ace Hotel in Portland. The water from the kitchen faucet was so cold and refreshing. I would never drink the water from the tap from my apartment in LA! LOL. Not even if that shit was Brita’d (I would sooner get a bottled water from the liquor store next door or the gas station across the street!).

You’re funnier since you had the strokes. I mean, you were always funny, but you’re funnier now.

– my mom to me after I razzed my pops

Maybe my migraines were hindering my funniness (I haven’t had a headache since the incident, and I used to take Excedrin every day!). Or maybe it’s just because I’m on anti-depressants now LOL.

I don’t know about funnier, but I’m definitely meaner. Or maybe I’ve always been mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, get you a mom who always laughs at your jokes.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate!

I’ve been wanting to make these TikTok Cinnamon Rolls for forever, and when the girls came over for brunch months ago, imagine my surprise when I found out it was a “healthy” brunch (it was after the incident), we were having healthy shit like crudité, Christine knew brunch was gonna be healthy so she ate a Mcdonald’s breakfast sandwich beforehand LOL, and no one brought waffles!

I thought Mother’s Day was a good excuse to make these cinnamon rolls, so I did and everyone loved them! They were sooo good and I’ll def be making them again.

The best part is you use canned cinnamon rolls to make it! Ain’t nobody got time to make cinnamon rolls from scratch.

This is not my picture, although that logo looks like my dutch oven and my glasses (am I that basic???). My cinnamon rolls turned out exactly like these, but my family devoured them before I could take a picture. Also, I would never use that upper font LOL.

I ordered some selenite charging plates because I thought I wasn’t spending enough money on crystals.

Because of Nurse Ratched, I’ve lost 35 pounds and gained $25k. She runs a tight ship LOL.

I saw my doctor today and he took me off one of my pills. Now I only take 15 a day! 🤣

We went to our cousins’ grandma’s viewing yesterday, and a) no one told me there were raisins in the empanadas (FYI I hate raisins in savory things, and I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen) b) Young the Giant will be played at my funeral and c) my browser history needs to be cleared when I die 🤣

Partly because it’s Cinco de Mayo, but mostly because I wanted a burrito (@ Lolita’s)

Don’t let the picture fool you, I only ate half 🤪

Full moon tonight ✨

Vampire Weekend (ft. Steve Lacy) – Flower Moon

I would not trust Mexican food made by a white guy in Arizona. I barely trust the Mexican food in LA (they put beans in everything! Also, why is everything wet??? If I wanted to eat a burrito with a fork and knife, I wouldn’t have ordered a burrito!). All I need in this life of sin is a 2-in-1 burrito from Lolita’s in SD.

People say I’ve become a food snob ever since I moved to LA over a decade ago, and to that I say I’ve always been a food snob LOL.

Have a safe Cinco de Drinko!

Things I see on my afternoon walks:

This fenced off spot reminds me of the infinite abyss from Garden State. There’s so much tumbleweed around here for some reason.

I hate vanity plates, but I love pizza, so I’m torn.

I’ve seen these heart balloons in this window since Valentine’s Day… It’s May.

I name all the dogs I see regularly on my walks. I see this sweet girl almost every day, and I call her “Lucy” (“Lucille” when we’re being formal). I’ve never heard her bark.

There’s this asshole dog who always barks whenever he sees me. I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed a trans teen (the dog’s pawrents have a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL).

With a lot of great dogs, comes a great lot of poop. These little flags are everywhere.

Freakin’ birds (@ Starbucks)

Whenever Nori and I would go to Starbucks (pretty much every day LOL) we’d sit outside, and I could barely hear her wordle  guesses over the parrots. Apparently, they live in palm trees, and palm trees are outside every Starbucks we went to in the beach cities.

Also, I was so mad when they took out the nearest Jack in the Box and put another Starbucks in its place. There were already 15 within a 5-mile radius of my apartment!

Who complains about too many Starbucks and palm trees? Is this my life now??? LOL.

Jessie and I always joke that I’m gonna marry her husband following her untimely death 🤣

BRB crying.

Lewis Capaldi – Wish You The Best

I miss knowin’ what you’re thinkin’
And hearin’ how your day has been
Do you think you can tell me everything, darling?
But leave out every part about him

Me checking what day my birthday falls on next year knowing I’m gonna have it at Texas Roadhouse LOL.

My friends will be like, “but this is in a mall parking lot in El Cajon, and we had champagne and wagyu at Born & Raised in Little Italy last year!”

Sorry B’s, I like my meat from East County ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I went to Texas Roadhouse again last night, partly because it was Meat Friday, but mostly because I did, in fact, leave my wallet there last week and had to get it LOL.

These memoji are so accurate 🤣

Celebratory cheeseburger and fries (@ Mcdonald’s)

Nori’s family straight up gasped when they found out how high my blood glucose levels were in the hospital. I recently had to get bloodwork done for my upcoming appointment and my A1C has gone down six points since January (I also haven’t had Mickey D’s since the incident, and I used to doordash their iced coffee every morning even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment). All I had to do (according to Dr. Joshi) was change my friends, change the way I do things and change my whole life (he keeps it too real LOL).

The phlebotomist said I had “easy veins” (usually it’s hard to draw my blood, and one time they even had to go through my hand which is so painful!), she complimented me on my favorite Michael Myers shirt I was wearing (that I wear year-round, not just when it’s Halloween), plus I got to have Mcdonald’s today! Win-win-win.

FYI I had my 7th birthday party at the Mcdonald’s in Bonita. I even still remember what I wore. Point being, I’ve had a special relationship with Mcdonald’s for a long ass time LOL.

Also, yes, that’s a double cheeseburger, and yes, I reward myself with food. Get off me.

Margarita Manzke (co-owner and pastry chef at République in LA) is a 2023 James Beard Award Finalist.

République is one of my favorite restaurants, and the first time I ever went there, they had a mountain of butter out and I mused aloud, “What’s all this butter for?” and one of the workers was like, “PIE.”

Go if you’ve never gone before, or better yet, take me with you!

Well, I don’t work there for the 50% discount 🤣

Years ago, I lied about how much I weighed on my driver’s license, and now I’m almost at what I refer to as my “DMV” weight LOL.

I recently lost my temporary “wallet” (a tiny ass Ikea bag that held my driver’s license, some change and a credit card). I think I left it at Texas Roadhouse LOL, but joke’s on you, I had already canceled the credit card last week and was getting mailed a new one because I got a fraud alert from CELESTIALGARDENINGSOLU, (which sounds like a place I’d make a purchase, but didn’t) plus I hated my driver’s license picture (the guy made me take off my glasses, so I kept stepping forward thinking he’d taken the photo already LOL).

Pammie came into my room holding a tiny Ikea bag, and I was like, “You found it!” but she was just giving me a little bag to put my replacement stuff in LOL.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Keeping up with Meat Fridays (@ Texas Roadhouse)

You’re so fuckin’ bougie.

– my sister’s husband to me after I brought down my Aroma 360 diffuser and Cashmere Plum fragrance oil from my studio in LA for my room at their house in SD

Do you stay up at night googling if cat mamas get sad after you give away their kittens or are you normal???

Even my sister’s husband creeps pics of Chico from the rooftop when he’s on his walkies. God, we love Chico so much, and he doesn’t even know it LOL.

Whenever we pass by Pammie’s old stomping grounds, we have to stop by (@ Shik Do Rak)

I treated my sister to her favorite KBBQ spot in her old ‘hood because she’s been driving my ass around and taking care of me for months. After dinner, I treated myself to my first iced coffee since the incident because my doc appointments went so well. Most of the blood tests were negative, so they weren’t worried I have any more underlying conditions. Both my hematologist and rheumatologist gave me good news!

Doesn’t it, though???

P.S. Blue Salt is amazing, near my apartment, and you should totally take me there.

Love is the moving power of our world…
if you would bring healing…
bring hope.

(@ Providence Little Company of Mary Medical Center Torrance)

When in LA (@ Urth Caffe)

I hardly listen to the radio in SD (partly because the DJs are garbage, but mostly because I’m usually listening to Young the Giant on Spotify). I heard this song a few times on 92.3 on the way up to LA, and I’m obsessed.

SZA – Kill Bill

I’m still a fan even though I was salty
Hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy
Hate to see you happy if I’m not the one drivin’
I’m so mature, I’m so mature
I’m so mature, I got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men
I don’t want none, I just want you
If I can’t have you, no one should

I filed to extend my leave because I’m not ready to go back to work yet! ❤️‍🩹 I haven’t even driven since the incident, you think I can design for the interwebs?!

P.S. One time, we went to LA for some doc appointments, and we didn’t take my car, so my sister left my car keys in San Diego (along with my apartment keys attached to them) and we had to stay at the Marriott (and we never let her forget it) LOL.

Also, the first time I hiked Torrey Pines with Shi years and years ago, we parked so far and we were walking for so long and I was like, “We haven’t started hiking yet?!” LOLOL.

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends…🍾 🥂

I’m going going, back back, to Callie Callie (@ Callie)

We were finally able to get together and celebrate Jessie’s 40th birthday! 🎂 🎉 🍽️

Jessie knows everyone at Callie since she goes all the time! We met the head chef, Travis (thanks for sending over those complimentary fish collars), saw pictures of the manager’s cute pittie/corgi mix, Gravy, and wished the host well (he’s getting married next month!). Such a great experience, and the food was sooo good!

Love these girls 💕

On Fridays, we eat Korean BBQ (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I took my sister out for dinner, partly because my short-term disability (or STD LOL) was finally approved (EDD is so old school with actual paperwork and snail mail) and the payments are retro to when I applied for my claim in January, but mostly because I checked my ADP app to make sure they took my bennies out of my last paycheck and saw they gave me an unexpected raise and bonus (even though I technically haven’t worked since the incident).

Good thing I was max’d out on sick time and vacation, because that’s how I’ve been getting paid since January. I’ll be lucky if I get my first disability check before I’m back at work!

Cinnamon Roll Cookie (@ Crumbl Cookies)

This cookie is three of my favorite things combined (cinnamon rolls, cookies and Crumbl), so I had to try it. I only had a fourth of it, and it was excellent!

P.S. If you didn’t know by now, I have a bit of a sweet tooth. And if you’re not really a “dessert person,” I think you’re a little bit of a psychopath.

I keep seeing Marco’s Pizza TV commercials (even though there’s no Marco’s near us), so I made a healthier version since I kept craving this pizza I’ve never had.

Pizza Recipe:

• O Organics Pizza Crust, Personal, Thin & Crispy
• O Organics Pizza Sauce, Organic – 1 tbsp
• Trader Joe’s Organic Arugula – 2 cups
• Fresh Cut Red Onions, Diced – 2 tbsp
• Signature Farms Mushrooms Shiitake, Sliced – ½ cup
• Hormel Turkey Pepperoni – 5 slices cut into fourths
• Lindsay California Black Olives, Sliced – 2 tbsp
• Belgiosio Fresh Mozzarella Ball – 4 oz (half)
• McCormick Red Pepper, Crushed – 1 tsp
• Happy Belly Tellicherry Whole Peppercorn – 1 tsp

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Combine ingredients except the crushed red pepper and black pepper and bake for 30 minutes. Add crushed red pepper and fresh ground black pepper to taste when finished baking. (I recently bought an electric grinder and will find any excuse to use it).

Calories: 593. Carbs: 49. Fat: 29. Protein: 32. Sodium: 469. Sugar: 7.

I’m v serious about the half a dark salted caramel I allow myself once a day LOL.

Nori and I used to go to True Food Kitchen for lunch and eat Spaghetti Squash Casseroles, but I’ve been staying in SD since the incident, and parking at The Point was always horrendous anyway. 

I found this copycat recipe and even the meat lovers (me and my sister’s husband) loved it! I’ll def be making it again.

I followed the recipe pretty closely, except I used a 24 oz. jar of Rao’s Marinara Sauce (because it contains no added sugar), used 2 tbsp of dried Italian seasoning blend instead of fresh thyme and oregano (ain’t nobody got time to chop fresh herbs), and bought the onions already diced (because I hate chopping onions and think all vegetables should come already cut and triple-washed). Shi sent me some fake noodles to try (or as I like to call them, “foodles”), but they were awful!!! One of the reviews said, “You can’t burn them, but you’ll want to” LOL. The spaghetti squash is such a good alternative! It’s delicious, even if you aren’t watching your carbs.

Hoppy Easter (@ Bonita Valley Community Church)

The best part about my afternoon walks in my sister’s neighborhood is seeing all of the dogs (@ Millenia)

I even saw Chico on my walk today! No picture, though, because Pammie told me to, “be cool” LOL. He was so happy to see us, though 😊

These viagra commercials on ID are crazy LOL. I just wanted to watch some true crime.

I’ve eaten meat every other Friday during Lent, I wasn’t about to stop now LOL (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I’ve dropped 30 pounds ever since my sister canceled my DoorDash membership in January, and I don’t DoorDash breakfast and dinner 5 days a week anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I had to order delivery today because one of their flavors this week was Iced Oatmeal (my favorite!). I split one with Pammie for lunch, and we both thought it was delicious!!! (@ Crumbl Cookies)

FYI I also like oatmeal raisin cookies from Subway LOL (my first job that my dad made me get when I was fifteen) and the molasses cookies they used to have at Milk in LA.

Does anybody want a kitten??? 😿

My sister won’t let me have a cat at her house LOL.

My dream is to have two animals (either a dog and another dog, a dog and a cat, a dog and a bunny, etc.) and for them to be best friends.

Charging my crystals on Pammie’s rooftop (I brought my geodes down from LA, Nori gave me the rose quartz and gold plate for Christmas, Shi gave me the amethyst bracelet for my last birthday, and the other crazy Shirley brought me a bracelet back from the Philippines). Full moon tonight ✨

Nick Drake – Pink Moon

Saw it written and I saw it say
Pink moon is on its way

My sweet friend surprised me with a Melissa O’Neil Cameo today (our favorite actress from The Rookie!). All of Melissa’s Cameo proceeds go to the Fresno Bully Rescue where she got her dog, Herc, who recently passed, so def get one from her if you can! Thank you, Heather! 💕

UConn smoked SDSU in the NCAA Finals today (let’s face it, no one had State in their final March Madness bracket), but the Padres beat the D-backs and my dad’s heart surgery went well. All in all, a 10/10 day.

Who ever thought taking a shower by myself and cutting my own nails were things you had to relearn??? (I did both today). God, but it feels good to have someone else shampoo your hair and cut your nails.

(Not pictured: me taking a shower by myself).

BRB crying. This movie and soundtrack are gonna kill me 😭 Jessie said we can have a pizza party and set up the outdoor screen when it comes out in June!

Childhood sweethearts who reconnect 20 years later and realize they were meant for each other.

P.S. I can’t believe this is the same girl who plays Hae Won from the nail salon in Sisters LOL.

I went to SDSU for a year before I went to art school, so I have a little bit of Aztec pride.

My sister’s bro-in-law, Paul, treated us out for Korean BBQ tonight! (@ Hanu KBBQ)

Thanks for the dinner, laughs, and letting me pay you in your first ever Crumbl cookie! (Did you love it? I’m still trying to convince Pammie and D, but Christine let her kids pick the flavors last time, so ofc they picked all the wack ass cereal kinds LOL).

Let’s go, Padres! I’m watching Opening Day from my room at my sister’s instead of on the big screen at home and eating meal-prepped sausage and veggies instead of a doyer dog. What has become of my life???

When the weather is nice, I eat my meals outside on one of Pammie’s balconies, get crispy in the sun, and wait for the weiner pup, Chico, who lives across the street to come out, but it’s been raining every week (like it is today).

I haven’t seen the reservoir across from my parents’ house this full since the nineties!

Tornadoes and rain??? Don’t we live in California so we don’t have to deal with this shit???

I went to my first show in months tonight, partly because it was Kevin Garrett, partly because it was his birthday today, but mostly because he was the opener and I didn’t have to stay up that late (@ Quartyard).

Kevin Garrett – Coloring

Don’t want the world to know I’m by myself
Don’t want the world to know I’m on your shelf
But if you want to try at all
Stay for the night, tell you why nothing’s right if you’re gone
Stay for the night, if it’s all a lie, I wouldn’t mind if you’re wrong
Stay for the night, we’ve been alright for so long
There’s no coloring around us anymore
You either know or you don’t

He did a cover of “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls, and I’ve been listening to the City of Angels soundtrack from ’98 and crying ever since.

My sister’s husband asked me what I ordered a lifetime supply of and I was like huh? I only ordered 2 boxes so I’d get free shipping this morning and have something to eat at the John Wick: Chapter 4 movie tonight LOL.

I ordered 2 boxes of Atkins bars for nearly $14 each, and Amazon accidentally delivered 2 CASES (12 boxes!). Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars, anyone???

We used to get Cookie Good at work sometimes and they opened a brick and mortar in Santa Monica a few years ago, but they ship nationwide. I ordered a dozen after getting this email (I’m easily swayed), and I’m def gonna split one tonight when it arrives. I’m thinking Blueberry Pancakes. Or Caramel Pretzel Chocolate Chunk. Or Cinnabun. Or Circus Animal. Or S’mores. LOL.

Cookie Good is better than Crumbl IMO, but I won’t turn down a Crumbl cookie (or any cookie for that matter).

Update 4/1: I had to do a taste comparison (for science) and Crumbl has a s’mores flavor this week. IDK why I bought the other 3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Verdict: Although the Crumbl cookie was delicious, my favorite s’mores cookie is still from The Cookie Corner in Hawaii.

Not gonna lie, I’m all for daytime concerts. Most shows don’t start until 10pm (especially if they have an opener) and I’m usually in bed by 9 these days (oh, how the mighty have fallen). I even declined a show last weekend because I was all like, “You’ll find me sleeping against a wall at the end of the show. I’ll just tell some strangers to wake me up when it’s over.”

Am I officially too old for concerts??? (Don’t answer that.)

This sheet pan sausage and veggies Pammie and I meal prepped this past weekend has been a dream since my sister is in Denver this week for work, my mom is in the Philippines for one more week, and I’m staying with my dad who sleeps past 10am and thinks chinese takeout and salmon are suitable for lunch and dinner every day LOL.

This is just what I used below, but you could use whatever you have in your pantry:

Sheet Pan Sausage & Veggies Recipe

• Aidells Smoked Chicken & Apple Sausage – 12 oz. (1 package – 4 links cut into about 10 pieces each)
• Trader Joe’s Organic Tri-Color Bell Peppers – 3 Count (1 package – cut into about 1-inch pieces)
• Trader Joe’s Organic Broccoli Florets – 12 oz cut into halves (1 package)
• Trader Joe’s Handcut Butternut Squash Cubes – 20 oz. (1 package)
• Trader Joe’s Microwavable Brussels Sprouts – 10 oz. cut into halves (1 package)
• Red Onion – 1 large (cut into about 1-inch pieces)
• Minced Garlic – 3 tbsp
• Primal Avocado Oil – 4 tbsp
• Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Seasoning Blend – 2 tbsp
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper – to taste (I used about 1 tbsp)

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F and combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Dump onto two baking sheets covered in parchment paper (for easy clean up) and “convect roast” (that was the setting I used on my sister’s KitchenAid Oven) for 30 minutes (or less if you don’t like it charred) and voilà!

I divvied the recipe in four and put them into these containers because they’re cute to make sure I got one sausage link and plenty of veggies per meal, and these are the nutrition facts per serving if you’re into that:

Calories: 481. Carbs: 39. Fat: 26. Protein: 19. Sodium: 695. Sugar: 7.

Also, who am I right now???

See’s is everywhere in LA, and I never understood how they stayed in business until I had a Dark Scotchmallow in my thirties.

I ordered some limited edition Dark Mint Scotchmallows from their website (they were sold out for St. Patty’s Day at my local See’s), and I allow myself half a piece a day LMAO.

(FYI, I also like Dark Salted Caramels and Toffee-ettes.)

On Tuesdays, I see my therapist and she’s minutes away from my favorite doughnut spot in town, and One Paseo shopping center.

This morning, I had some bloodwork done (they took 14 vials!), so I needed that quarter of a Susie’s Blueberry Pancake doughnut (a collabo with my favorite cupcake spot in LA, Susiecakes). And both planters from Pigment at One Paseo. Get off me.

Is it sad that I’ve been to 3 of these places (and one of them is my own bed?)???

I love that even when we’re in the four corners of the world we still find time to check in (yes, LA, SD, Vegas and AZ are the four corners of my very small world.) Happy 40th birthday, bb! Thanks for all the yummy grain-free treats you’ve sent my way (even though I eat them with half a cinnamon-raisin bagel) and for teaching me how to play dominoes (even though I beat you). I will watch Physical: 100 with you (because you like K-Dramas, but I also draw the line at commentary LOL). Callie soon!

It was not how I expected to spend my birthday week (or the first half of 2023), but thanks to everyone who sent flowers, stuffies and cards and have wished me well after my “medical emergencies” (they’re calling it) to the hospital and to my sister who is taking care of me till my LOA is up in July, to Nicholas who shaved my chocha with clippers LOL and sang me HBD in the operating room, and to Nori who left the office to take me to the ER. I’m in LA this week for some appointments and Dr. Joshi says I’m “hanging on by a thread” (he doesn’t sugarcoat shit) while the rest of my doctors have told me they expect a full recovery in a few months. My therapist was surprised that it was a full moon (I showed her the moon phase widget on my watch lmao, nor that I believe in crystal energy) but all I know is I left my crystals charging on Pammie’s rooftop before we left SD, because I need all the help I can get. Pardon me. I’m def less foggy, but I got 3 vaccines today LOL.

After The Great Fridge Fiasco of 2022, the replacement fridge I received was even smaller than my original one and only came with this tiny ass ice tray.

Pammie gifted me this nugget ice maker on christmas and it’s been a game changer, y’all!

Every morning, I’ve been treating myself to an espresso martini. I just pour this pre-mixed cocktail over freshly made ice (follow me for more recipes lol).

Yes, I know that martinis aren’t usually served on the rocks. Or in a whiskey tumbler. Or at 9am. Just let a bitch live. 

If your mom isn’t swinging an ornament between her legs for money, is it even Christmas???

Escaping LA for the holidays be like…

Two things still warm this heart: freshly zambonied ice and chili dogs (@ LA Live / Pink’s)

…or my work sending out a departmental email letting us know that we’ll only be getting the day after christmas off instead of the entire week (like we have for the previous 7 years).

Excuse me while I open this box of fruit-by-the-foot I bought for my nephew and eat my feelings.

Who needs a christmas tree when you can just throw some lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?

Spotify’s really out here exposing me right now 😅