I went to a Padres game with these potterheads and all I got was a Hufflepuff hat (and garlic fries from Gaglione Brothers. And a cheeseburger from Hodad’s. Ok, and a churro from Lane’s Lemonade Stand. No ballpark beers, though, because the last time I mixed alcohol with my meds, I was sloppy as fuck!).
The theme giveaway line was 45 minutes long, and we overheard this guy tell his girl, “I love you, but I’m not waiting in this line” LOL. Also, we picked up 3 hats first since the 4th person wasn’t at the game yet, so Pammie asks the giveaway dude for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and he starts reaching for a blue hat looking at her for confirmation, and Pammie was like, “Boy, that’s Ravenclaw!” 🤣
The “paw squad” is my new favorite part of being at Petco 🐾
My favorite bakery from NYC opens this weekend in LA (@ Levain)
Now I don’t have to pack my foodsaver to bring home fresh cookies the next time I go to New York 🤣 Their chocolate chip walnut cookie will change your life!
…or Jay’s message to me today after finding out about my strokes 🤣 I can totally hear him saying that! Except he says “skrong” like Kanye in Roses and “bitch” (also like Kanye in Roses).
My mom asked me to make her banana nut bread with her ripe bananas, and since my sister’s husband has been asking me to make banana bread for months, I made him a loaf, too.
I used to make mini loaves and bring them to work. Here’s some actual footage of the time I caught my old coworker, Justin, in his office going to town on this mini loaf that was supposed to be for him and his wife LOL:
Best Ever Banana Nut Bread with Streusel Topping Recipe (banana bread recipe adapted from The Baking ChocolaTess and streusel recipe from Yummy Addiction):
Banana Nut Bread Ingredients:
½ cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs beaten
1 ½ cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 cup mashed bananas (about 3)
½ cup sour cream
1 tsp. vanilla
½ cup chopped walnuts
Streusel Ingredients:
3 tbsp. flour
¼ cup brown sugar
¼ tsp. cinnamon
2 tbsp. unsalted butter, slightly softened and cut into pieces
¼ cup chopped walnuts
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease a 9-inch loaf pan. Cut a piece of parchment paper and put it on the bottom of the pan (for easy removal).
In a large bowl, cream the butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
Add in the eggs and mix well.
Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add into the butter mixture and combine together.
Add the sour cream, bananas, and vanilla and stir well to incorporate, but don’t overmix.
Stir in chopped walnuts.
Pour into prepared pan.
Add the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl and mix until combined. Cut in the butter using your fingers or a pastry blender, until it resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in chopped walnuts. Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the batter.
Bake for 50-60 minutes.
Cool for 10 minutes and then turn the loaf out onto a rack. Remove the parchment paper and wrap the loaf in saran wrap to keep it moist once it’s room temperature.
I didn’t know that liking your husband would hurt this much.
We watched a Korean movie (@ AMC La Jolla), and I got us some Korean snacks to eat while we cried. They even referenced one of my favorite movies, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’ve never seen it, these two people erase each other from their memories after a painful breakup, and they still end up finding each other again. You can’t fight fate…
Redondo is ready for me to come back! Now the closest lobster roll will be five minutes away from my apartment, and I don’t have to wait for an election to have one from the food truck across the street.
I made this spaghetti squash pad thai after Shi made pancit with spaghetti squash and I was wondering what other rice noodle recipes I could sub them for.
I’m that basic ass b that always orders pad thai at Thai restaurants. I followed this recipe, but I omitted the ginger, carrots and cilantro (since I don’t like any of those things LOL) and topped it with crunchy garlic chili oil (I put that shit on everything). It turned out so great!
My sister’s mother-in-law once joked that she was gonna steal the honey dispenser from the restaurant, so I got her one for her 70th birthday (along with a Kate Spade purse that’s big enough to hide the honey dispenser if she still wants to steal it).
My blue jeans Will last me all my life Oh, yes So should we I’m spending all this time
I went to my cousin’s son’s high school graduation party, and his daughter’s playlist was playing and I realized that I have the same musical tastes as a 16-year-old.
Nori and I would frequent this taco shop when we had lunch every day for work, and even though we’d almost always go to Starbucks after, sometimes I would get this Mexican rice pudding that was just hanging out there in the fridge, begging me to buy it. Nori doesn’t like milky things LOL, so she would just watch me eat it, but today is her birthday, so I made some and thought of her. I miss my friend! She really helped me out after I got sick and checks in all the time ❤️🩹
You lit your cigarette Oh, how quickly we all forget That bed you made, you must lay in it Lost in a fruitless cause False hope was all you bought Oh, and the answers didn’t seem so far
Just got tickets to their fall tour! I’m going to their SD show instead of the one the next day in LA, partly because trying to get to Hollywood on a Thursday sucks, but mostly because I want to eat at Pizza Port.
I’m up in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and I haven’t been home in over a month.
I should really give someone a key to my apartment, because all my plants are dead.
People think it’s silly that I kept my studio in LA (and continue to pay a ridiculous amount for it) since I haven’t lived there since January after the incident, but I like my independence (and walking around in my chonies.). I’d sublet my apartment, but my property manager lives across the hall, so he’d definitely know 😅
Hey, Siri. Play the ‘Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley’ playlist.
Don’t mind me. Just re-watching old Ted Lasso episodes and loved this scene.
P.S. I’ve known Sade’s By Your Side was gonna be my wedding song ever since it came out in 2000 and I thought I’d be married by the time I turned 25 (I’m 41 now LOL).
I was looking for strawberry moon vibes on Spotify when I stumbled across this Korean indie rock band. I’ve never watched K-dramas or been into Korean boy bands (although I love K-Pop girl bands. Blackpink, anyone?), but I love this song even though I don’t understand what they’re saying.
On my walk, this guy was blasting Yellowcard while working out in his garage.
I had so many questions. Did he mean to play it this loud? Is he listening to my resurrection sunday playlist? Is it 2001??? I usually listen to my twerkout playlist when I work out, would early 2000s pop-punk pump me up more?
P.S. I love that the top comment on this video is, “Music is the closest thing we have to a time machine.” Ain’t that the truth…
I’m on instagram, partly because I follow a bunch of dogs, but mostly because of this guy 😏 His caption on this post is, “I baked you some dessert, so you can eat it while I eat you.” 😳
My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.
Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups
Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.
Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.
I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).
Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!
Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!
The second season of Barbecue Showdown came out today on Netflix, so these are my plans for the weekend.
I’ve been to BBQ Showdown judge Kevin Bludso’s original location in Compton. He’s since moved to Fairfax, and he’s opening a location in Santa Monica this summer. Take me with you, and I’ll treat you to a Pink’s chili dog and some Brambleberry Crisp ice cream from Jeni’s after! None of which will hold up to my apartment in Redondo, so we’ll just have to eat it there! I hope you’re hungry 😏
Me: Waco? Oh, it’s the 30-year anniversary. Pammie: What happened in Waco? Me: What do you mean, ‘What happened in Waco?’ Waco’s only known for one thing! Pammie: I only know Waco for the Magnolia Silos LOL.
Even if I didn’t love true crime, I’d still know what happened in Waco 🤣
P.S. If you weren’t alive for Waco in 1993, you are much too young for me LOL.
This cover of Labrinth’s Jealous sung by an all-male a cappella group led by a Korean dude is probably my favorite cover ever. It’s also available on Spotify if you feel like listening to it on repeat and crying yourself to sleep (not that I ever do that). Does anyone want to go to Nashville with me to watch them in the fall??? I used to be in show choir in high school (I have the sequin dresses and nude character shoes to prove it) and I’m a huge choir nerd. I hope that doesn’t turn you off LOL.
Also, I once went to a Billie Eilish show in 2018, and my ears are still ringing.
Sidenote: The only place I’ve ever drank water from the tap is when I stayed at the Ace Hotel in Portland. The water from the kitchen faucet was so cold and refreshing. I would never drink the water from the tap from my apartment in LA! LOL. Not even if that shit was Brita’d (I would sooner get a bottled water from the liquor store next door or the gas station across the street!).
You’re funnier since you had the strokes. I mean, you were always funny, but you’re funnier now.
– my mom to me after I razzed my pops
Maybe my migraines were hindering my funniness (I haven’t had a headache since the incident, and I used to take Excedrin every day!). Or maybe it’s just because I’m on anti-depressants now LOL.
I don’t know about funnier, but I’m definitely meaner. Or maybe I’ve always been mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, get you a mom who always laughs at your jokes.
I’ve been wanting to make these TikTok Cinnamon Rolls for forever, and when the girls came over for brunch months ago, imagine my surprise when I found out it was a “healthy” brunch (it was after the incident), we were having healthy shit like crudité, Christine knew brunch was gonna be healthy so she ate a Mcdonald’s breakfast sandwich beforehand LOL, and no one brought waffles!
I thought Mother’s Day was a good excuse to make these cinnamon rolls, so I did and everyone loved them! They were sooo good and I’ll def be making them again.
The best part is you use canned cinnamon rolls to make it! Ain’t nobody got time to make cinnamon rolls from scratch.
This is not my picture, although that logo looks like my dutch oven and my glasses (am I that basic???). My cinnamon rolls turned out exactly like these, but my family devoured them before I could take a picture. Also, I would never use that upper font LOL.
We went to our cousins’ grandma’s viewing yesterday, and a) no one told me there were raisins in the empanadas (FYI I hate raisins in savory things, and I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen) b) Young the Giant will be played at my funeral and c) my browser history needs to be cleared when I die 🤣
I would not trust Mexican food made by a white guy in Arizona. I barely trust the Mexican food in LA (they put beans in everything! Also, why is everything wet??? If I wanted to eat a burrito with a fork and knife, I wouldn’t have ordered a burrito!). All I need in this life of sin is a 2-in-1 burrito from Lolita’s in SD.
People say I’ve become a food snob ever since I moved to LA over a decade ago, and to that I say I’ve always been a food snob LOL.
This fenced off spot reminds me of the infinite abyss from Garden State. There’s so much tumbleweed around here for some reason.
I hate vanity plates, but I love pizza, so I’m torn.
I’ve seen these heart balloons in this window since Valentine’s Day… It’s May.
I name all the dogs I see regularly on my walks. I see this sweet girl almost every day, and I call her “Lucy” (“Lucille” when we’re being formal). I’ve never heard her bark.
There’s this asshole dog who always barks whenever he sees me. I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed a trans teen (the dog’s pawrents have a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL).
With a lot of great dogs, comes a great lot of poop. These little flags are everywhere.
Whenever Nori and I would go to Starbucks (pretty much every day LOL) we’d sit outside, and I could barely hear her wordle guesses over the parrots. Apparently, they live in palm trees, and palm trees are outside every Starbucks we went to in the beach cities.
Also, I was so mad when they took out the nearest Jack in the Box and put anotherStarbucks in its place. There were already 15 within a 5-mile radius of my apartment!
Who complains about too many Starbucks and palm trees? Is this my life now??? LOL.
I miss knowin’ what you’re thinkin’ And hearin’ how your day has been Do you think you can tell me everything, darling? But leave out every part about him
I went to Texas Roadhouse again last night, partly because it was Meat Friday, but mostly because I did, in fact, leave my wallet there last week and had to get it LOL.